Going public about epilepsy
I am ready to COME OUT to you. I’m ready to go public about my epilepsy diagnosis. I’m stretching to accept and advocate for Epilepsy, aka my “seizure disorder” that began 6 years ago.
My first seizure happened while sleeping. I had an aura that night before bed, which is a unique “funny feeling” that signals a seizure is coming. It felt like déjà vu to me and I’d never really felt that before. I woke in the morning after two grand mal seizures, and was taken to the hospital for testing. Nothing was found on the brain scans and I was told to go home and rest.
Six months later when I was overworked and running on fumes, it happened again and I was formally diagnosed as having epilepsy. Damn. I denied this term and focused on being “seizure free” thru diet and lifestyle.
How did this happen?
Did this happen because I was “plant based” for so long, mal-nourished and developed insulin resistance? Was it because I was burnt out and in a toxic relationship trying to prove my worth thru building a community wellness retreat? What about taking all those antibiotics, asthma meds and experimental birth control as I grew up? I’ve spent countless hours in attempt to figure out why I was diagnosed with epilepsy, yet what matters most are the huge strides I’ve made with medical ketogenic therapies to keep my seizures at bay.
Is epilepsy a liability?
Another major adjustment — soon after all this began, I was seen as a liability. I was asked to leave what I’d built at Hawaiian Sanctuary. It didn’t make sense at the time, yet five years later, I acknowledge that as good news. I’ve had a lot of success and made plenty of mistakes too.
I don’t like to have seizures, yet each has forced me to slow down and reassess what’s important.
Feelings of embarrassment and shame
For the last six years I’ve looked at epilepsy when I’ve had to, yet otherwise attempted to not really tell people as I’ve felt embarrassed and shame. I’d even lost the privilege to drive for two years after a seizure post intense workout. I didn’t know that going all out can aggravate the nervous system, so now I stick to yoga and long walks. I’ve come to understand how harmful stress can be on our precious organs.
I want to tell you that earlier this spring I had a seizure and it surprised me. I had only 2 last year which was a success since the two years prior I dealt with more. I’ve felt further and further away from these scary black out convulsive experiences where I awaken with memory loss, a bitten tongue + aches and pains.
That Monday night was different though as I felt funny after a long day’s work. I was finishing up with a client program where we shared a wonderful in home dinner together. I had worked from sunrise that morning without a break and that gear isn’t sustainable for me anymore.
I remember seeming to hit a wall once we were done with dinner, and I excused myself. I let myself cry a little tear on the way home, feeling proud of our progress. I caught myself when the emotion felt overcoming and remembered that seizure post intense workout and tried to relax in the moment. “What a strange memory in this moment” I thought to myself and didn’t want to attract another seizure. It had been so long.
Nevertheless, that night I woke up to my sweetheart Evan bringing me an icepack for my head and said I’d just had a seizure. My skull and neck were aching and I felt scared and disappointed. Had that premonition earlier been an aura?
After this recent seizure, I was forced to slowed down. I felt nervous then insecure, yet so grateful to be loved and supported while in recovery. I’m choosing to share all this because I want you to know more about me.
Yes, I have expert skills in metabolic therapies to support medical conditions. Although I’m not a doctor, I can work with you and your doctor to overhaul your diet and lifestyle to take less meds and live with less pain and suffering. I’ve done it in my own life and have helped dozens of others in 1:1 and group programs to re-align their fuel + lifestyles.
PLUS I’m available for more than carb counting and pantry purges. I’ll continue to promote removing nasty seed oils that cause free radicals in your beautiful body, yet my coaching programs expand far beyond ketogenic therapies.
Here’s my passionate WHY. I am committed to a heart-centered coaching focused on service and connection. Trust me, burn-out has real consequences to life and all relationships. The more we slow down to SELF CONNECT, the more we tune in to inner wisdom that is present to guide us.
Are you feeling stress? Are you wanting to be listened to without judgment? Do you want a safe place to explore areas of your life that are challenged? A lot happens when people sit with me. I will help you transform your life. This message is an action step to extend fierce loving into powerful relationships.
I am cheering you and me on to success. I deeply appreciate your engagement today and would love to read your courageous comments and shares. Stay tuned for more on living well, accepting what is and committing to fierce love.Coaching with Terra